After I briefly mentioned broken resolutions in my last blog entry, I’ve had a couple of questions. What should a person do if they break a New Year’s resolution after requesting as spirit’s help with it? How should they fix the situation?
First off, I didn’t want to be the excuse someone used for giving up on their goal. There can be many reasons for giving up on a resolution, both good and bad. You can make plans that are too lofty, and then understand you should’ve started smaller, or you can pick up a hobby and then figure out it isn’t really for you. You can realize pursuing the resolution is not in your best interest. This is different than derailing your diet with extra dessert, skipping a gym day (or four), or falling off the wagon in Dry January. When this happens, you can apologize to the Divine appropriately and then continue on towards your goal.
On the other hand, there are situations when people give up altogether on a resolution for all the wrong reasons: sheer laziness, lack of willpower, unwillingness to look at your issues, etc. In short, it isn’t the Divine’s problem when this happens. It’s yours for as long as you want to hold onto it, unresolved. Hopefully, you realized that achieving your goal would still take some type of effort or output on your part, and that it wouldn’t merely occur with the wave of the spirit’s hand. Significant changes require preparation and adjustment – and frequently many steps to accomplish. Even winning the lottery would require purchasing a ticket as well as long-term plans what to do with the money and how to manage it successfully. All desired changes must be initiated in the mundane world for the spirits to have anything to aid. What the spirit does is provide opportunities to augment and assist this change. As Above, so Below. The spirit plays a part, but you must be ready to do yours.
In the case of a broken resolution where you have asked assistance, the best course is to make an apology, promise not to continue your poor behavior, and get back on track. If you’ve decided not to pursue that resolution in the long run, an apology is still the best course of action, as well as thanking the Divine for the help they provided so far. Remember – this relationship matters to you. Be polite. Consider, too, how much your commitments mean to you and how you would like to be known to the Divine. You’ve involved another party, and how you appear to them is crucial. I cannot count the number of frustrated practitioners who come to me, lamenting the fact that Spirit has gone quiet for them. They rarely want to contemplate what they might have done to offend them. While it is true that we can never fully comprehend the scruples and morals of spirits, we can perhaps best define patrons, mentors, and guides as those who have chosen to help us better ourselves. It behooves us to maintain good relationships with them, even if that means we must occasionally account for our own poor behavior.
If you have bargained with the spirit, however, promising them something for their efforts, then they are owed more than an apology. In effect, you have entered a contract with another party and failed to uphold your side. That means you still owe the spirit what they are due, even if you do not want to pursue the resolution any further again. Besides fulfilling the terms of the contract, consider how you want to be seen by the spirit. Ponder what they like. While we can draw on lore and peer gnosis for advice, we must ultimately look to our relationship partners themselves for guidance in these situations. What does the spirit in question need to make it right?
My work in the Inner Demons Challenge continues this week as I use divination to dig deeper into the personal issues plaguing the two main characters of my next paranormal romance novella. I’m slowly building a character profile based on the prompts provided and the cards drawn in response. So far, I’ve learned my female lead is impulsive and charismatic, the type that would leave without looking – but probably have a slew of friends jumping after her. She tends to minutia and fails where tact is key. Her confidence and courage can occasionally come off as bravado or arrogance. My male lead is well off and possibly older than she is. He’s usually generous with both his wealth and his affections but is currently so worried that his world will fall apart that he is blocking his natural creative and nurturing energies. I’m still unsure how these two fit together and, more importantly, how they fit with the Daemon at the center of my next Dalliances with Demons story. She’s teasing me, speaking in whispers and throwing me flashes of the tale, all disconnected…
Here are my individual posts about these characters for the past week, from Instagram:
Her – How have your inner demons affected you?
Him – How have your inner demons affected you?
Her – Where in your life do your demons and shadow sides show up?
Him – Where in your life do your demons and shadow sides show up?
Have a good week!