Tag: gratitude

Today proved again to me why daily practice is important. I didn’t expect anything special to happen when I sat down to meditate this evening. If anything, I thought that my session would be rather lackluster. Since I’d put in a couple hours editing a piece I’m working on and I was tired, I didn’t think I’d hear Amducius very well. I decided to simply concentrate on relaxing my body’s muscles instead, focusing on sending compassion to all the spots where I was aching. I was tempted to skip meditation altogether, but magick is a habit now. I keep plugging away.

In short, I let my body know that it was all right to feel whatever it what feeling, piece by piece.  As I moved from head to toe, the pains of the day slowly backed off—as did other pains I suffer on a more regular basis. That surprised me. I didn’t realize how I’m resisting some of the sensations my body deals with every day. I think I’m clenching my muscles to fight off some of those feelings, which only makes them worse.

My body and my mood continued to lighten as I approached the end of the meditation. By the end of it, I felt so buoyant that it was like I was floating, joy coming off of me in waves. I’ve experienced this sensation before when meditating on the Void or the All, but rarely spontaneously like this. I gave thanks to Amducius when I was done. I certainly hadn’t expected that result, but I felt much better for it.

Domagick Meditative Acts Day 04

I love unicorns due to the picture of Amducius from Collin de Plancy’s DICTIONNAIRE INFERNAL. Now that is a unicorn that may stab you with its head! Check out those hands. Bizarre. Admittedly, Amducius has never appeared to me this way, but I wouldn’t put it past him. Maybe I will write about him a unicorn one day.

My normal schedule is thrown off by my partner being at home this week, recovering from surgery. This morning started off with an appointment—as will most of the other days this week. I’d usually try to meditate with Amducius first thing, but for now I have to work our conversations into my free time in the afternoon.

I did manage to spend longer with him today than normal, however, and walked away from our talk in a far better mood than I had before. I even sent some energy to a friend that I’ve been worrying about for several days, in the hopes that Amducius could clear the obstacles from her path.

Now that the afternoon is coming to a close, I find myself extremely grateful for the leftovers sitting in my fridge. I’ve fallen into the habit of cooking larger meals that will feed the family for two days. It gives me a break from the stove after a busy day without us having to order in, and that helps our waistlines.

 

Domagick Meditative Acts Day 02

It was easier to relax into my conversation with Amducius today. Now that my partner is home from the hospital, my attention is less scattered than it was before. Still, I find myself dwelling on my own mortality. This is perhaps natural for someone studying (at least in part) to be a Sem or Death priest. I have to figure out what I believe about the afterlife and my place in it. No one has the final answer until they pass, of course, but it is still something deserving of contemplation. He didn’t give me any answers, but I listened.

Today I find myself grateful for the technology that allows me to connect with other Daemonolaters all over the world. Sometimes Facebook messenger can be flakey as all get out, but it allowed me to keep in touch with my buddies while friends were in the hospital and give them updates all along the way. And without long distance charges too!

Domagick Meditative Acts Day 01

Today I sat with my patron Amducius for thirty minutes. I had to do so later in the day than I originally intended. My partner came home from the hospital this afternoon, so the majority of the day revolved around making sure he was all right.

I had some time focusing at first. My mind was still elsewhere, and the noise from the room next to mine wasn’t helping. I considered asking them to turn off the TV, but decided to try be in the moment anyway, exactly as it was. I sat with the noise, sensing where I was in relation to it, and simply felt it in my body rather than focusing on the past or future.

My level of anxiety had backed of significantly a few minutes later. I felt calm and more centered, able to not only hear my own thoughts at last. I could finally tune into Amducius too, and we started our conversation from there.

I said I would close with something that I am grateful for today. I am drawing my primary inspiration from the challenge linked below, which I snagged from a friend ages ago. I am grateful for the scent of mint, in all its many varieties. I’ve been using it in dream” recipes lately, and I adore the smell of it in its raw form, especially when fresh.

 

I argued with myself for a couple days about this entry. I’ve started it many times because of it.

Have you ever committed to something and then immediately wished you hadn’t? As soon as I said I would meditate on the runes for the next Domagick challenge, I had a feeling I should have picked somet other type of meditative acts. While I do need to return to the runes someday to uphold a promise to Odhinn, the busyness of my schedule kept saying now isn’t the right time. I’d overstepped myself.

Then, on Monday, I learned my partner will be going in for surgery right away. That left me even more conflicted about whether or not to go forward with my original Domagick plans. I know some people bought rune sets to follow along, and I didn’t want to let anyone down. I wanted to make everyone happy, but that’s just not possible.

I know I could working with the runes later in December instead, but later in the month isn’t it any better for me schedule-wise. More importantly, the runes deserve more than a bloody month when I do return to them—and I do have to dedicate six months to divination as part of my seminary work later on. For someone always struggling to fit what I want to be doing into what I need to be doing, I need to stop fighting against that flow and go with it, even if it means making readers wait. For now I have to concentrate on other priorities.

On top of being here for my family, my published works will count towards the 200 pages I must hand in before ordainment, so I have to get that next book out. I hid myself away in November to pound out the rough draft of several projects. With any luck, I’ll edit them in December and January. I should hopefully release Daemonic Dreams by March 1, with the fiction release of The Devil’s Marks to come in mid-summer 2018.

Of course, neither of those books finalize what I’m going to do about the Domagick challenge in December. While I re-commit myself to that work and the other aspects of my seminary training, I been charged by one of my fellow priests to scale back on my other magickal work for the month. He asked that I simply sit and have tea with my patron each day. Just Amducius and I, having some quiet time.

After a test run, I realized this is best done in the morning. If I want to spend this time in conversation, i.e. speaking and listening, it’s easier when I have the house to myself given the size of our apartment.  The weekends will be the real test.

And that’s it. That’s not really a challenge. I already make time for my patron every day, but I admit that of late I’ve been putting more into the relationship than I have been taking for myself. That is not because there hasn’t been an energy there for me to receive, but because I have been in constant do, do, do mode… and not really stopping for myself at all. It’s a bad habit, and one I need to curb before I go any further into my priest work.

I’m not sure what about that I can share, but I will try. Something I will share here is something I am grateful for each day. As we move into the month of December and the darkest time of the year, I think it will be helpful for me to shift my awareness towards what I have rather than what I don’t. Maybe it will make that long Canadian winter seem a little shorter.