I argued with myself for a couple days about this entry. I’ve started it many times because of it.
Have you ever committed to something and then immediately wished you hadn’t? As soon as I said I would meditate on the runes for the next Domagick challenge, I had a feeling I should have picked somet other type of meditative acts. While I do need to return to the runes someday to uphold a promise to Odhinn, the busyness of my schedule kept saying now isn’t the right time. I’d overstepped myself.
Then, on Monday, I learned my partner will be going in for surgery right away. That left me even more conflicted about whether or not to go forward with my original Domagick plans. I know some people bought rune sets to follow along, and I didn’t want to let anyone down. I wanted to make everyone happy, but that’s just not possible.
I know I could working with the runes later in December instead, but later in the month isn’t it any better for me schedule-wise. More importantly, the runes deserve more than a bloody month when I do return to them—and I do have to dedicate six months to divination as part of my seminary work later on. For someone always struggling to fit what I want to be doing into what I need to be doing, I need to stop fighting against that flow and go with it, even if it means making readers wait. For now I have to concentrate on other priorities.
On top of being here for my family, my published works will count towards the 200 pages I must hand in before ordainment, so I have to get that next book out. I hid myself away in November to pound out the rough draft of several projects. With any luck, I’ll edit them in December and January. I should hopefully release Daemonic Dreams by March 1, with the fiction release of The Devil’s Marks to come in mid-summer 2018.
Of course, neither of those books finalize what I’m going to do about the Domagick challenge in December. While I re-commit myself to that work and the other aspects of my seminary training, I been charged by one of my fellow priests to scale back on my other magickal work for the month. He asked that I simply sit and have tea with my patron each day. Just Amducius and I, having some quiet time.
After a test run, I realized this is best done in the morning. If I want to spend this time in conversation, i.e. speaking and listening, it’s easier when I have the house to myself given the size of our apartment. The weekends will be the real test.
And that’s it. That’s not really a challenge. I already make time for my patron every day, but I admit that of late I’ve been putting more into the relationship than I have been taking for myself. That is not because there hasn’t been an energy there for me to receive, but because I have been in constant do, do, do mode… and not really stopping for myself at all. It’s a bad habit, and one I need to curb before I go any further into my priest work.
I’m not sure what about that I can share, but I will try. Something I will share here is something I am grateful for each day. As we move into the month of December and the darkest time of the year, I think it will be helpful for me to shift my awareness towards what I have rather than what I don’t. Maybe it will make that long Canadian winter seem a little shorter.