I pleased to announce that my house was free of workmen all day today. It turns out they managed to get the job done early and didn’t have to come back after all. That meant I could dedicate the entire day to magick and art. Hurrah!
First, I made a scrying mirror. When we bought our new TV stand, my family decided not to put on its doors, so that left us with two large pieces of framed glass. They were too beautiful to throw away, and I finally put one of them to good use this morning.
I made another burnt offering to Oso today. Afterward, I launched the sigil I’d created. I sang Oso’s enn during both, my song becoming more and more sibilant as I went along. The imagery that appeared in my mind’s eye during the launch was distinctly different than usual. Strangely, I heard it as a senryū at the same time:
Black kite flies over
the white-capped mountains of hope—
my fears disappear.
I continued today with the five warrior syllables but did not feel any tingling in my third eye. This might have been because I vibrated the syllables in front of my partner, which made me feel somewhat self-conscious. He didn’t care what I was doing, yet I remained aware someone else was in the room who wasn’t taking part in my spiritual practice. This continues to be a problem with having downsized our apartment; we pay less rent, but I also have far less space within which to work. So far, I can’t see any way around it except moving my practice from place to place so I can be alone. With my fibromyalgia, I find this sometimes tires me out so much that I then don’t want to practice magick at all. I know I will find a solution, but one just hasn’t come to me yet.
There are innumerable ways to work with daemons. Often magicians command daemons to obey their will and try to force them to do what they want. As a Daemonolater, I believe daemons are divine intelligences and prefer to treat them more respectfully.
This morning, for example, I reached out to the daemon Salleos by singing his enn, a short phrase which acts as a daemon’s calling card and can be used as focal point just like a sigil. Later in the day, I concentrated on his seal until my eyes grew heavy, and then drew a tarot card for guidance.
When I asked Salleos how I could treat myself in a more loving and compassionate manner, the Two of Cups fell out during my shuffling. In the Thoth deck, this card is literally titled ‘Love,’ and can mean a union of two people as well as uniting with neglected parts of yourself. Since I’d drawn a picture earlier called “Romancing My Shadow,” I believe I’m on the right track.
You see, Salleos is best known for causing men and women fall in love, but I don’t need romantic help right now. However, I’ve practiced core-shamanism for twenty years now, and shamans are known to marry spirit helpers of the opposite sex in many traditions. Once I applied some outside the box thinking to how scared I am of my being myself, especially my artistic self, I realized I could work with Salleos to reconcile with that part of me. I spent a good portion of my day setting up an art studio in my house to woo “her.”
As per my agreement with myself, I also:
Listened to the soundtrack from the novel I’ve decided not to work on this month. No anxiety came up except the feeling, again, that I should be working on it. I chair danced it away.
Took two photos as part of my decision to make art every day. These were taken in response to the “water” prompt in the WordPress #developingyoureye challenge.
Last night, I participated in the first of four sound healing circles. One thing I learned about myself is that I don’t play crystal bowls very well yet. I also discovered I can make a wide variety of animal noises. However, neither of these things was as important as my third realization.
The evening came to a close with an art exercise meant to integrate our new knowledge. When asked to contemplate what part of my picture disturbed me the most, it wasn’t the negative faces I’ve drawn surrounding my body that bothered me, but the paintbrush and pallet I held. I couldn’t understand why. I’d intended to draw myself as creative and happy, and my dancing figure seemed to portray all of those qualities, yet my eyes grew wet as I stared down at it. All I could think was, “Why didn’t I draw a pen in my hand or show myself holding a typewriter? Why didn’t I draw words flowing out of my hands? I’m a writer, aren’t I?”
Also accomplished today, as per my original agreement with myself:
Six hand-written pages on my novel, while listening to the soundtrack I made for it.
Sang the enn of the daemon Salleos while in the shower and ran his energy through my chakras as I washed.
Took a photograph based on the #developingyoureye photography challenge, which you can find above. I titled it “Home Away From Home – The Flock.” It is meant to represent the Axis Mundi which stands within every one of us, the core of power around which our personal universes spin. I’m learning mine may not be what I thought it was…